by: Vincent Ryan Ong

How do you see yourself in 15 years? What is your goal in life? The most common answer to these questions is “success”. From the moment I learned the word, it has been on top of my wish list. But how does one measure success? I, for one, have my own perception and gauge of success. However, that only applies to me. Different people have differing views and concepts of success. I might consider myself successful if I am earning more or less Php 50,000.00 a month, but that would not be the case with other people. Php 50,000.00 might only be pocket change for them.

Have you ever wondered what success really is? You might concede to the fact that that is something which only needs a person’s common sense, but without meditating on it, you would surely have a hard time explaining it. I have tried to capture its essence and this is my meditation.

At first glance, there seems to exists only 2 kinds of human beings in this world: The successful and the unsuccessful. But I want to look deeper at the scenario. Is it necessary for “unsuccessful” to coexist with “successful”? I have then realized that this is only a matter of one’s personality. If I am to assume the optimistic role, I would see success in every action and outcome of everything. I might get 2 out of 100 in a test and still consider myself successful for learning a valuable lesson. On the pessimist’s standpoint though, getting 100 out of 100 in the same exam might be frustrating because he/she had an erasure, but of course, that’s an overstatement. Therefore, I, being optimistic at one time and pessimistic at another, cannot rely on my own measurement for success. But, if I cannot use my own measurement and others’ due to differences, how then would I know if I am successful or not? I won’t. I need not know if success is at hand or not. I just have to assume that it is not here to make sure that my goal remains a goal and not a conquered territory.

This might seem a lot like Sisyphus’ Labor in Albert Camus’ “The Myth of Sisyphus”. Sisyphus is a person condemned through eternity to push a boulder to the top of a mountain only to see it fall back time and time again. However, though somewhat similar, I need not fail every time I am about to succeed. I would just have to strive harder each day with the thought that my goal is too far away to be reached. This is neither optimism nor pessimism. Conditioning of the mind is a more precise way to describe it.

If we make it the other way around, where success can be found in every corner of my life, then success loses its essence. For how would I treasure something that is abundant in this world. Isn’t it the rare entities that are considered priceless and more valuable? Would you give more value to a paper than a diamond? Of course not!

So a final question remains. When will I know if I have succeeded or not? This is a good question, but I have to admit that I am as lost as you are. I have a hunch though, I think the answer is the same as that of “How would I know if I am successful or not?”, which is, “I won’t”.