Valentines Day: A Day of Reckoning
By: Karla Vanessa Redor
Date: February-12-2002

A few days left before the most awaited day for the lovers and the not-so-singles pass by. The day of reckoning will soon come. It will be a day of spreading the Munching Cash Plague where lovers of the world join hand in hand to buy precious gifts for their loved ones. The soon-to-be victims of the said plague will have symptoms of paleness, continuous walking back and forth from one place to another, and eyes that looked shock. Beware of this plague. Most doctors prescribe the would-be-possible patients would have to put a special cream at the palm of their hand for the unusual allergies that leads to the said plague. Another prescription would be is for the patient to stay away from places that are expensive-looking.

This is also the day of the Loneliness Syndrome Advanced Level. The future patients of this disease most likely exhibit the following symptoms like type 1 malfunction of lachrymal glands (continuous crying in layman’s terms), state of shock, paleness, red nose, eating disorder, and insomnia. Doctors prescribe that the probable patients would watch mushy cartoon fairy tale stuff and romantic comedies every 5 hours. Likewise, it is best that they attend love relationship seminar or if anything else fails, contact Dr. Love for counseling.

If there is a Loneliness Syndrome Advanced Level, there is what we call as the Anti-mushiness Fever. It is really known as the Loneliness Syndrome Moderate Level. The symptoms of this disease are high blood pressure, number of heartbeats is lower than the usual one, type 2 malfunction of lachrymal glands (no single tear comes out), and the I-Hate-You-All attitude. Although this disease is the moderate level, curing this disease is much harder especially that patients with this disease have attitude problems. It is best that they attend an Interaction Program sponsored by the Lonely Hearts Club and it is recommended by 9 out of 10 doctors. Actually, the Interaction Program is a Heart Therapy designed for people with this disease.

All of us will be affected by the sudden spread of disease for V-day is the day of reckoning. The question is, what disease will inflict us.