by: Vincent Ryan Ong

How do you see yourself in 15 years? What is your goal in life? The most common answer to these questions is “success”. From the moment I learned the word, it has been on top of my wish list. But how does one measure success? I, for one, have my own perception and gauge of success. However, that only applies to me. Different people have differing views and concepts of success. I might consider myself successful if I am earning more or less Php 50,000.00 a month, but that would not be the case with other people. Php 50,000.00 might only be pocket change for them.

Have you ever wondered what success really is? You might concede to the fact that that is something which only needs a person’s common sense, but without meditating on it, you would surely have a hard time explaining it. I have tried to capture its essence and this is my meditation.

At first glance, there seems to exists only 2 kinds of human beings in this world: The successful and the unsuccessful. But I want to look deeper at the scenario. Is it necessary for “unsuccessful” to coexist with “successful”? I have then realized that this is only a matter of one’s personality. If I am to assume the optimistic role, I would see success in every action and outcome of everything. I might get 2 out of 100 in a test and still consider myself successful for learning a valuable lesson. On the pessimist’s standpoint though, getting 100 out of 100 in the same exam might be frustrating because he/she had an erasure, but of course, that’s an overstatement. Therefore, I, being optimistic at one time and pessimistic at another, cannot rely on my own measurement for success. But, if I cannot use my own measurement and others’ due to differences, how then would I know if I am successful or not? I won’t. I need not know if success is at hand or not. I just have to assume that it is not here to make sure that my goal remains a goal and not a conquered territory.

This might seem a lot like Sisyphus’ Labor in Albert Camus’ “The Myth of Sisyphus”. Sisyphus is a person condemned through eternity to push a boulder to the top of a mountain only to see it fall back time and time again. However, though somewhat similar, I need not fail every time I am about to succeed. I would just have to strive harder each day with the thought that my goal is too far away to be reached. This is neither optimism nor pessimism. Conditioning of the mind is a more precise way to describe it.

If we make it the other way around, where success can be found in every corner of my life, then success loses its essence. For how would I treasure something that is abundant in this world. Isn’t it the rare entities that are considered priceless and more valuable? Would you give more value to a paper than a diamond? Of course not!

So a final question remains. When will I know if I have succeeded or not? This is a good question, but I have to admit that I am as lost as you are. I have a hunch though, I think the answer is the same as that of “How would I know if I am successful or not?”, which is, “I won’t”.

by: yuga

I have been working for almost two and a half years now. Those two years passed by so fast I couldn’t even remember how many jobs I’ve been through all this time. Browsing at my most recently revised resumè refreshed my memory a bit. To think again, thirty months was so long ago already. Yet, I can’t still say I’ve progressed that much, or so I presume I haven’t.

I graduated from a prestigious school, thanks to my scholarship, with a double degree in Chemistry and Computer Engineering. I was a consistent honor student, if not on top, from my grade school to my high school. Though I didn’t have very good grades in college, I had more than a dozen extra-curricular activities then. That, coupled with an impressive degree and a diploma from a reputable university gave my resumè a striking glow & a veritable edge over all other new college graduates like me.

I didn’t had a hard time looking for a job. A week after graduation I already found a good-paying job at a start-up production company. Work was fairly easy. My work has no time and I can go to office late. I was happy and content. I crave for learning, for more responsibilities and more challenges.

I thought that was all I needed. Not until I saw the real world. It was bigger than I imagined, much bigger and more complicated than what was taught to us back in college or so I thought it was.

Then, I started cramming. I had to catch up. I had to start all over. I have to make a mark and be better each day; more valuable to the industry and more knowledgeable than your average office employee. It struck me, I thought I could sit down and just relax. Enjoy and have fun all the time. Well, at first I did. Went to bars and disco houses and whatnots in Malate, Ortigas and Makati almost every Friday night and sometimes even week nights if I get off from work early. Go places and went on vacations every now and then. It was fun and relaxing indeed.

But I felt that wasn’t all there was to all this. I felt a sense of urgency, a rush to get things done faster, to learn things I didn’t care to learn in college or even at all. I was perplexed at first, didn’t know what was happening or going on in my mind. What was this urgency?

Then I realized. I was not a teener anymore. This was a transition stage. I was transitioning from being a ‘padawan’ learner to a career professional. I was to face a different perspective in life, new environment and new people to deal and with more responsibilities and obligations. I have to be proactive and not just reactive. That must be it. Thus, the struggle began. Until now.

In a few more months, I’ll be turning 25. One can say that I have changed but it’s still there. The rush is still trickling in. I still want to do more things. One may call me short of a workaholic but that’s what I really am since decades ago. Doing many things at the same time makes my mind alert and always awake. I know I’m still young and have many more years ahead of me, pray hope I will. Still, I have this quandary I call the quarter-life crisis. Yeah, maybe I just invented that term but it’s sinking in. It’s like going to the comfort room to take a pee but having to wait for half a dozen people lining up to the door. You get what I mean?

Maybe I just needed a break from all these. City life is such a fast-paced life. Everyday passes by so fast I can’t even keep track of the date unless I check the calendar of my mobile phone. Maybe it’s just really me. I’ll just keep hanging on.

It’s already 3:30 on a Saturday morning. Now that I’m done with this article, I can sleep soundly.

And another day has passed…

by: Russet

Few weeks ago, I was looking for a place where I could be able to gather my thoughts as I write an article for work. So, I decided to spend that afternoon at the Starbucks outlet in front of Ateneo in Katipunan, QC.

In my previous visits to that place, it always amuses me how some people could actually spend their time studying alone or in a group in such a public place (where customers come and go or have their little chitchats) without being distracted. And so, I tried to experience it for myself.

After getting my venti espresso frapuccino at the counter, I chose to be seated at the corner table hoping that I could concentrate on my work assignment. So I put my earplugs on as I listened to the taped interview I had earlier that day.

Around thirty minutes later, my attention shifted to this group of students who occupied the table beside mine. College students I presumed, they had different expressions on their faces to which I got a bit curious. So I decided to let go of my earplugs for a while as I nonchalantly listened to their conversation.

They are freshmen students (as I understood from their discussion) sharing their first week in school. Surprisingly, though, only one of these six students seemed to be excited about her new life in college. The rest were unenthusiastic about having to attend classes everyday, reading numerous books and doing those endless reports and group assignments. But what really caught my attention was when one of them uttered “I wish I was already working, so I could earn my own money.”

Oh, well, how I wanted to join their conversation and tell them how lucky they are to still be in school. But I guess, that was a normal remark for students and I must admit I had that same thought when I was still working my ass out for that ever so precious college degree. I could still recall those frequent occasions where I would actually daydream of working in a prestigious company, having my own desk and wearing corporate clothes.. and yes, earning my own money.

But after four taxing years in college and with a diploma to be proud of, comes reality. It is not easy to look for a job!! much more, landing at the work you have long wanted. With thousands of students graduating each year, competition as you realize is definitely tough.

At first, you tend to be a bit choosy, sending your resume only to top corporations which you think will give you the job you had dreamed of. But as months passed by and still without a job, you begin to expand your search to include even those companies you had barely heard of. Then, you start hearing comments from your parents about having to continue giving you financial support and for not trying hard enough in those interviews. Whew! Out of the blue, you tell yourself…. I wish I were still studying!!!

Then you start recalling those times when all you did was go to class (with or without preparing for the class discussion), watch a movie with your barkada after school, party during weekends… and all of these you enjoyed without having to think of the money you had to spend because, well, you had your allowance from your parents… You also recall how you could use your charm with your professors to be excused during class recitations or from submitting your project on time… but now find it so hard to convince the HR Manager to hire you for the job your are applying for…

How I wished I were still in school…. I miss my friends (whom I seldom see now because of our different schedules and priorities).. I miss my school.. I miss my classroom at the fourth floor.. I miss my professor who, because of her regional accent, could not properly pronounce my name… I miss my other professor whose sense of fashion was always part of our conversation… I miss the cheeseburger I often ordered from the school’s canteen…I miss spending long hours at our “tambayan”…

Most of all, I miss my life as a student - when things were much simpler…when problems where confined with school work and affairs of the heart…when all I had to do then was to go to class, pass my subjects and enroll for the next semester… when I enjoyed receiving money without having to earn it….

But I guess, this is all about man’s insatiability… we never get contended.. we always want what we do not have… and when things are no longer in our hands, we realized how valuable they are…

And as I finished my espresso frap, I decided it was time for me to head home… that group of students were still there… still frustrated about having to read five chapters for next meeting’s class discussion… and upset to be going to class the following day instead of working in a top corporation or running their own business….

I smiled as I passed by their table… in my mind, I wanted to tell them how I envy them because they are still students… and how I wished I was still in school… but then, I realized I had to rush home to continue writing that article I earlier started on…. deadline was on the next day… at eight am sharp!

by: Vincent Ryan Ong

With more than three thousand bodies inside the Plenary Hall of the Philippine International Convention Center (PICC), the air-conditioning of the establishment was not felt. Yet, no one complained as the final walk on the stage draws nearer by the second. After the Processional, the invocation, and the singing of the national anthem, we, the candidates for graduation, took our seat. It was a relief considering the fact that we’ve been standing like trees for what seemed to be like eternity waiting for our comrades to take their places. The ceremony continued by giving Honorable Hilario Davide, Jr. a doctorate of laws degree. After which, the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court delivered his biased speech to the delight of everyone. And then it was time. One by one, we were called to walk our final walk as undergrads.

It was the longest fifteen seconds of my life. My whole being shivered with the memories of the past twenty years. This is it. I’ve been having dreams about this moment since grade school. Suddenly, everything became a blur except the stage and the people on it. I cannot hear anything except the congratulations being said by the President. I cannot feel anything except the warm hand shaking mine. And then I walked towards the other corner and gave my last bow.

Generally, a person has to spend at least seventeen years in an educational institution during the course of his life. The mind, being a tabula rasa (blank tablet), is slowly being filled with knowledge and experience given by the institutions. From the alphabet to the sciences and to the arts, believe it or not, we have not learned much. I have to admit that in the seventeen years of my student life, I have learned more from the last four years than from the previous thirteen. It was in college where I learned most of everything I know in my field. It was in the rooms of the Alma Mater where my interest for literature began. It was in the same halls where I constructed a bridge between my race and others’. It was in De La Salle University where I built myself.

Now I begin to yearn for the projects I despised, look for people I avoided, and thank the teachers I loathed. My graduation meant both liberation and captivation. From now on, there are no more classes to dread but in turn, there would be rooms, corners, hallways, and people to miss. It’s hard to survive in the jungle called college, but it is harder to leave.

As the ceremony drew to an end, I wished that it would not. I was still spellbound to the magic of graduation. But the end is inevitable. It was time to sing the school hymn. Everyone stood up and waited for the cue. And we sang.

Hail, Hail, Alma Mater
Hail to De La Salle
We’ll hold your banner
High and bright
A shield of Green and White.
We’ll fight to keep
Your glory bright
And never shall we fail
Hail to thee,
Our Alma Mater
Hail! Hail! Hail!

Then it was over. Our final animo as undergraduates was over.

ANIMO LA SALLE!