by: Ava Guerrero (PNX)

Be yourself.

It’s a cliché that I always hear from people who seemingly do not feel any sort of insecurities, who do not care of what other people might think of them, who aren’t afraid to voice out their opinions, who aren’t reluctant to ignite a fight when somebody dares to confront them. Be yourself. Be yourself. Be yourself.

This mantra has been long used to increase a person’s self-esteem, to give them a sense of superiority or to boost up their confidence. It can be heard in TV commercials, teen mags, and even posters endorsing a face-powder product. But sad to say, it doesn’t work for me. Seeing myself as a person who exudes great amounts of confidence shrinks into some kind of drama and I’m the lead star. It becomes unnatural.

The more I try to be confident the more I feel that I am just pretending to be someone I am not. The more I try to rid myself of inhibitions, the more the mask of pretension thickens and tightens. I strongly disagree that you should always be yourself, taking into consideration the meaning it implies. I disagree that should you only act upon your own will all the time, without considering the probable outcome of your actions, or mulling over on what others may think of you or feel about you. This is the reason why I have those inhibitions.

The reason why I do not easily give in to the bitter cravings of my flesh. The proper mantra for me should be, “Think before you act”. Is this morally correct? Will it hurt somebody’s feelings? Will it destroy my dignity and reputation? Will they get mad? Will it stir up trouble or bring about peace? Some people would side-step those questions easily. They would speak themselves out saying that they don’t care. As long as they’re being themselves at that moment in time, they think there’s nothing wrong. Before, I was sort of obliged to think and act that way.

My mind was fed with that kind of principle. But I sensed something was wrong, it was not a perfect idea at all. What if it is already wrong being myself? Humans commit mistakes and mistakes committed can never be justified by saying that humans are humans and to err is human. What room is there for change? Is it justifiable to say that I was being a truthful liar? Is it right to say that because I am a braggart, then people should accept that, instead of trying to be humble at times? Some people could openly say that they are stingy for example.

I even know a person who is applauded for being bad-mouthed. Why? They admire his being true to himself. They like the way he speaks himself out. They do not see that what he does is wrong cause it is over-shadowed by that mantra. As I have noticed, people like these don’t want to be called hypocrites. So what would they do? They’d keep on doing those things albeit the fact that those things are wrong just to be spared from being conceived as someone who pretends. Most people are engulfed in that kind of mentality. That if you do something against your own will, then you are being pretentious, you’re on the wrong track. You are called a hypocrite or ‘plastic’ as widely used by Filipinos. This is a great misconception, in my opinion.

What is wrong in controlling yourself when needed? Is it wrong to oppose your own will if you know for yourself that it is wrong? Should you not use your mind more often instead of letting go of your emotions that easily? Should you always need to spill out your feelings if you know it isn’t necessary and would just stir things up all the more? Should you not keep quiet in those moments when you like to scream yourself out? Like what I’ve stated earlier, when I try to show people that I am fearless, that I don’t care how the world sees me, all the more I become pretentious, cause in reality I don’t always say, what I really want to say.

Being myself all the time would only bar me from any proper and more acceptable attitude I should have elicited during a certain situation or scenario. I do not fancy spurting out words that will only hurt others feelings just to let out mine. If rambling about my own feelings would only cause others to feel badly about themselves rather than console them, I’d better keep them to myself. That facet of me is always misinterpreted. What should I expect? That’s better I guess than to unhesitantly prattle about how ugly a person is just because it is the truth.

I do not objectively create a norm for everyone to follow. It’s just my own norm, my own creed. It’s just my own opinion, my own analysis. It’s just that not because you replace harsh words with kind words then you’re being pretentious. The truth is, it brings about good relationships, instead of hostility towards one another. I think through that, a person’s real being is revealed.

by : Russet

“Farewell to you my friends, we’ll see each other again; Don’t worry ‘coz its not the end of everything. I may be miles away, but here is where my heart will stay With you, my friends with you.”
This is probably the one of the most favorite graduations songs in this part of the globe. Who could not relate to this song especially when we have survived school mainly because of the support of our friends? Surely, many of us have gone through the ups and downs of student life just to get hold of our precious diplomas. And a lot of you out there have endured the pressure of submitting those countless book reports, term papers and undergoing those sleepless nights knowing that you have your “barkada” to get you through. And who could ever forget all those group study-cum- love-talk sessions over bottles of beer! Oh, well… student life!

I am no exception. And I must say that I have been so much blessed to find friends whom I have really held on to when the demands of school have been too toiling for me. But graduation is inevitable and we all have to say our farewells and go on separate ways.

Recently, though, I had the opportunity of meeting my old college buddies. After almost five years of not bumping into each other’s lives, we have decided to spend one Saturday afternoon just to be together. Surprisingly, while we all went to the same college, we have pursued different paths. Two are into business, one is an FM disc jockey, one is with PAGCOR and yours truly… uhm.. well.. nevermind! It was a day of endless chit-chatting and we definitely had fun reminiscing our college days. And to make that day even more memorable, we definitely had our pictures taken (we actually had to buy a disposable camera for this!). And, oh yes, we surely had to end our day with few bottles of beer at The Fort.

Truly, as we move on through life, we meet people and find new friends. But I guess, no matter how many new friendships we have built, there will always be those few earthlings we will treasure for life.

EKEMEKE (as we call our group) will always be EKEMEKE. We have chosen this name because, while the word is not found in any dictionary, it made such an impact when one of us coined this word. And EKEMEKE had undeniably made an impact in our lives.

EKEMEKE… we will see each other again…coz here is where my heart will stay… with you my friends, with only you…..

by: Karla Vanessa Redor

A few days left before the most awaited day for the lovers and the not-so-singles pass by. The day of reckoning will soon come. It will be a day of spreading the Munching Cash Plague where lovers of the world join hand in hand to buy precious gifts for their loved ones. The soon-to-be victims of the said plague will have symptoms of paleness, continuous walking back and forth from one place to another, and eyes that looked shock. Beware of this plague. Most doctors prescribe the would-be-possible patients would have to put a special cream at the palm of their hand for the unusual allergies that leads to the said plague. Another prescription would be is for the patient to stay away from places that are expensive-looking.

This is also the day of the Loneliness Syndrome Advanced Level. The future patients of this disease most likely exhibit the following symptoms like type 1 malfunction of lachrymal glands (continuous crying in layman’s terms), state of shock, paleness, red nose, eating disorder, and insomnia. Doctors prescribe that the probable patients would watch mushy cartoon fairy tale stuff and romantic comedies every 5 hours. Likewise, it is best that they attend love relationship seminar or if anything else fails, contact Dr. Love for counseling.

If there is a Loneliness Syndrome Advanced Level, there is what we call as the Anti-mushiness Fever. It is really known as the Loneliness Syndrome Moderate Level. The symptoms of this disease are high blood pressure, number of heartbeats is lower than the usual one, type 2 malfunction of lachrymal glands (no single tear comes out), and the I-Hate-You-All attitude. Although this disease is the moderate level, curing this disease is much harder especially that patients with this disease have attitude problems. It is best that they attend an Interaction Program sponsored by the Lonely Hearts Club and it is recommended by 9 out of 10 doctors. Actually, the Interaction Program is a Heart Therapy designed for people with this disease.

All of us will be affected by the sudden spread of disease for V-day is the day of reckoning. The question is, what disease will inflict us.

by: Russet

I generally do not have a hard time sharing thoughts about something close to my heart.. something I am fond of …. or something that interests me… I always have a piece to share in every conversation I have whether it be simple chit chatting with friends (which I do most of the day!) or during a brain-storming sessions on upcoming projects at work. In fact, even on those topics which I am not familiar with, I find myself participating through the questions I ask. Well, probably because I just love to talk!

Ironically, though, there is one topic which, as I realize now, I somehow tried to refrain from sharing my views on - my family. But before you make any conclusion, I would like to make it clear that I come from a closely-knit family and I am proud of where I come from. In fact, I do love our clan! But somehow, I have this thinking that family affairs are too personal to share to just anyone…. much more to those I don’t know. I would rather keep all those family memoirs in my mind and heart for me to cherish for a lifetime.

But then, wait! Something inside me has prompted me to sit down and write this piece for me to share to anyone. Yes.. you read it right A-N-Y-O-N-E ! And it is all about my grandmother whom we fondly call Mamang.

Last year, there was one birthday celebration that we surely will never forget and will fondly recollect during family gatherings. December 10, 2001 was Mamang’s 85th Birthday. And to make this day more memorable and extra special, we decided to have a surprise birthday bash cum tribute for her, with yours truly as the charge d’ affaires.

I actually planned a birthday party for myself. But as I went on with my preparations, the idea of having Mamang’s birthday celebration suddenly popped up. So setting aside my original plan, I started get the approval of the other members of our family. Gladly, they all gave their approval and offered to help me out. It will be a surprise, we all agreed.

So as early as September, I already made the necessary downpayment for the use of the venue and had the date booked, just to make sure. My cousin Albert has volunteered to do the invitations (he works in a computer company that does all those terrific print-outs in NY).

All the while, I thought everything will be easy, since we have at least three months to prepare. Geez! It wasn’t! There are details that we need to know which only Mamang can provide - like her favorite color (for the affair’s motif and souvenirs), her favorite song (for us to sing.. ehem.. ehem..) and more importantly, for her picture (needed for the video and portrait).

At her age, Mamang is still inquisitive. She keeps on asking why we have to inquire about this and that. And mind you, it was really a challenge to make up all those stories just get the information we needed. In fact, I had to tell her that I was buying a storage box for her “merienda goodies” and asked what color that box would be just to know her preference. Having her pose infront of the camera was another. She wouldn’t want to unless we tell her why we were taking her pictures… Whew! So many white lies committed!

With the invitations sent out, we were a bit apprehensive if we could keep this affair a secret until then (though it was printed on the invites). Much more, with the excitement building up, we were not so sure if we, in fact, could keep everything low so as not to give her a hint.

We all thought everything would be fine with few days left. Well, not really…..

On the day of the affair itself, December 9 (we had to schedule it a day ahead of her birthday), the biggest problem we had to confront came - how to tell Mamang to dress up.. ugh! As expected, she asked why…. Running out of stories this time! We just explained that we were dining out to celebrate her birthday a day earlier. The invitation stated 4:30pm, and it was already 5:00pm but Mamang still wouldn’t want to ..… Pressure.. Pressure!!! With all of us in the house saying our individual prayers (and all of us already dressed for the occasion!), thank God, Mamang suddenly agreed!

Yahoo!!! She yielded to our request… at exactly 5:30 pm! What a relief!!!

I could still clearly recall how surprised Mamang was. Tears flowing on her cheeks upon seeing all relatives and friends gathered together. She even had second thoughts of embracing her daughter from NY whom she never thought would be there (especially with the September 11 incident).

But more than just a birthday party, this gathering has shown to all of us her family, that Mamang is truly loved by so many people. Most of the guests even came from our province (approximately 7 hours drive to Manila.. wow!) just to take part in this affair. This celebration of another year in Mamang’s life carries with it our continued prayer for more blissful years for us to share with her. For someone so frail (she stands less than 5 feet), she has endured the challenge of raising 7 children (most of them born during World War II) and has become successful at that. She has encouraged her grandchildren to strive better in life. Most of all, she has showered us with love and affection which only she can provide.

I don’t take the credit for having all of these planned and realized (with all honesty… believe me!!). It was a team effort. It was the work of every member of the family - from Mamang’s youngest great grandchild Justin (who was then 2 months old) to her eldest child Edna!

But if there was one thing I have learned all the more, I realized much better now that indeed FAMILY MATTERS!! I guess I should start writing more about my family!

(Postscript: As to my birthday, I celebrated it just the way I used to - several times, one with each set of friends! J)