Workaholic's Dilemma
By: yuga


I have been working for almost two and a half years now. Those two years passed by so fast I couldn't even remember how many jobs I've been through all this time. Browsing at my most recently revised resumè refreshed my memory a bit. To think again, thirty months was so long ago already. Yet, I can't still say I've progressed that much, or so I presume I haven't.

I graduated from a prestigious school, thanks to my scholarship, with a double degree in Chemistry and Computer Engineering. I was a consistent honor student, if not on top, from my grade school to my high school. Though I didn't have very good grades in college, I had more than a dozen extra-curricular activities then. That, coupled with an impressive degree and a diploma from a reputable university gave my resumè a striking glow & a veritable edge over all other new college graduates like me.

I didn't had a hard time looking for a job. A week after graduation I already found a good-paying job at a start-up production company. Work was fairly easy. My work has no time and I can go to office late. I was happy and content. I crave for learning, for more responsibilities and more challenges.

I thought that was all I needed. Not until I saw the real world. It was bigger than I imagined, much bigger and more complicated than what was taught to us back in college or so I thought it was.

Then, I started cramming. I had to catch up. I had to start all over. I have to make a mark and be better each day; more valuable to the industry and more knowledgeable than your average office employee. It struck me, I thought I could sit down and just relax. Enjoy and have fun all the time. Well, at first I did. Went to bars and disco houses and whatnots in Malate, Ortigas and Makati almost every Friday night and sometimes even week nights if I get off from work early. Go places and went on vacations every now and then. It was fun and relaxing indeed.

But I felt that wasn't all there was to all this. I felt a sense of urgency, a rush to get things done faster, to learn things I didn't care to learn in college or even at all. I was perplexed at first, didn't know what was happening or going on in my mind. What was this urgency?

Then I realized. I was not a teener anymore. This was a transition stage. I was transitioning from being a 'padawan' learner to a career professional. I was to face a different perspective in life, new environment and new people to deal and with more responsibilities and obligations. I have to be proactive and not just reactive. That must be it. Thus, the struggle began. Until now.

In a few more months, I'll be turning 25. One can say that I have changed but it's still there. The rush is still trickling in. I still want to do more things. One may call me short of a workaholic but that's what I really am since decades ago. Doing many things at the same time makes my mind alert and always awake. I know I'm still young and have many more years ahead of me, pray hope I will. Still, I have this quandary I call the quarter-life crisis. Yeah, maybe I just invented that term but it's sinking in. It's like going to the comfort room to take a pee but having to wait for half a dozen people lining up to the door. You get what I mean?

Maybe I just needed a break from all these. City life is such a fast-paced life. Everyday passes by so fast I can't even keep track of the date unless I check the calendar of my mobile phone. Maybe it's just really me. I'll just keep hanging on.

It's already 3:30 on a Saturday morning. Now that I'm done with this article, I can sleep soundly.

And another day has passed...